Good Men...Bad men

I was reading a newspaper over the weekend and came across an article saying there aren't any good men left. What? Hullo? Where are all these women looking? I know so many good men; starting with myself, my three brothers (one of them is 2 but I can already vouch for him), my numerous cousins, friends, enemies...the list is endless. There are so many good men out there that women are spoilt for choice. They even come up with excuses such as there are no good men because they can't make up their minds on which one to settle for. The good women are even harder to come across but we aren't complaining. They are either in a relationship (that won't stop us though), married, or married in misery (this seems to happen to the hottest babes. Don't understand why)

Then there's this argument; good guys finish last. So which is it? Do you want good guys or bad guys? Make up your minds because this is getting very complicated. Women love bad boys. They are attracted to the worst kind and then blame the guy. Seriously, if he was bad when you hooked up with him what did you expect? That he'd turn into an angel after seeing your infectious smile? We need clarity and while at it, please don't use parables. Men aren't good at deciphering coded messages. We are confused...all the time by the different signals that women put out. We don't know what we are supposed to be. If you good, you're boring. If you're bad then you're a loser. There's never any middle ground. It's painful being a guy

Women need to lower their expectations. Brad Pitt is only perfect in the movies. He's been divorced twice so he isn't some kind of angel. Will Smith too. There isn't such a thing as Mr Perfect. You have to accept that once in a while, probably more often than not, we will leave the toilet seat up. When we do leave it down, it most probably will have some wet patches because aiming is really hard. Once in a while, we'll forget that special day. It's not like we did so on purpose. Don't try to change us. You were happy with us when we started dating. Saturdays is sports day for us. We need to watch the game as much as you need to go to the salon. We don't complain about your salon visits so don't complain about our football. The salon makes you look good. The football makes us feel good. Say what you mean. We take words for what they are, not what they should have meant. Don't expect us to keep up with the same stuff we did when were dating. Naturally, complacency will set in. Once in a while, we'll get romantic. Don't be suspicious. We aren't cheating. We are just reminding you that we still care. Don't try to replace mum, but just try to complement her. She carried me for 9 months and brought me up to be the good man I am. Get these facts right and stop believing in those romantic movies. You will see potential like never before.

Happy hunting

PS. I am not an egocentric, chauvinistic guy. I, like all other men I know, am a good man.